Thursday, February 12, 2009

~Friday Funnies~

I'd stop eating chocolate, but Im NO quiter!

I’m not fat. I’m just FLUFFY!

How to be Annoying

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

* Drum on every available surface.

* Sing the Batman theme constantly.

* Staple papers in the middle of the page.

* Ask 1-800 operators for their home phone number. If they don’t give it to you ask why they are calling YOU at home.

* Sew department store anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

* Set alarms for random times.

* Honk and wave to strangers.

* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

* Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.


* Pay for your dinner with pennies.

* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

* At the laundry mat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

* Name your dog "Dog."

* Ask people what gender they are.

* Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."

* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

* Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

* Mow your lawn with scissors.

* At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"

* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

* Never make eye contact.

* Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

* Make appointments for the 31st of November.

* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.

Now, if you are interested in the chance at winning some jewelry, see the post below!

For more Friday Funnies, see Kim @ Homesteaders Heart

Have a great weekend!



Melanie said...

Love these, Cheryl! Too funny!

Denise said...

I am laughing really hard, thank you.

Grammy said...

Great list of funny s. My friend gave me a ceramic mug with I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm NO quitter! I love it. Have a great week.

Anonymous said...

Boy.. I was cringing on some of those.... cause they are SO annoying!!! :)

Happy Friday!

Homesteader in Training said...

Um, I've actually done a few of those things. Do I win something? LOL.
Thanks for the laugh today.
I'm going to go check out your giveaway.

Jennifer said...

I love these and I actually know a few people that already do some of these things!

Happy Friday!

Sherry said...

LOL! THese are too funny! :D Love the chocolate one as I'm a chocoholic.

Marsha said...

"Leave your turn signal on for 50 miles." LOL!!! That isn't funny, just downright annoying! I can't stand it when I get behind someone that does that. Wait a minute... oops... was that you behind the wheel. ;)
Have a great weekend.

Laurie Ann said...

LOL! I love these! 2 of them stand out - Daddy has always called our dogs (Copper and Wilson) "Dog". "How is Dog doing?" "Hey, Dog!"

I am a Lysol stalker when someone in the house is sick. I used to follow behind Kristyn spraying light switches, door knobs, everything she touched. Bwahahahaha!

These really made my day!

Sweet Blessings said...

Too FUNNY! Some things I was like-yes totally annoying and other- Oh, I should DO THAT! And a few...been there, done that:) Happy Friday to you! Amanda:)

Christina said...

These would drive me crazy. I love the one about going around to other diners and taking their parsley.

SophieMae said...

ROFL! Thanks ever so for waking up my funny bone today! I so want to go do several of these. Not that I haven't already done a few. 8-}

Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

Under the Florida Sun said...

LOL. I actually know people that do some of this stuff..LOL. And to be honest.. so do I. LOL

Tracy said...

Too funny!