Friday, December 5, 2008

~Friday Funnies~

The dog closed his eyes in concentration.

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an
equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a
kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity.
They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about 'normal' tricks. "Well," they said, "let's try this out."
Once more they called out to the dog, and then clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Who will ask Jonah?

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal,
its throat is very small.

The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale."

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human. "It is physically impossible!" she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

"Then you can ask him"

For more Friday Funnies see Kim at Homesteaders Heart




Homesteader in Training said...

Oh Cheryl that last one was too funny. The first one I think I had posted one similar called the Baptist Dog and the punch line at the end was Good, Lord he's Pentacostal lol. I love it!
Thanks for the laugh!

Denise said...

These were really funny sweetie.

Sherry said...

LOL! Those are too funny! Thanks for sharing!

Peggy said...

I love the one about Jonah - thanks for the laugh.

Marsha said...

Very funny! Thanks for the laughs.

Susan said...

Ahhhh, those were just precious. I haven't read them.

Enjoyed the good laugh, makes the load easier doesn't it?

Have a blessed weekend my sweet friend♥

Debra said...

Very funny....I loved the last one! Happy Friday!!

He And Me + 3 said...

Those were great! LOL

Laurie Ann said...

I love the "heeling" dog! LOL! These were all cute and brought a huge smile to my face and laughter to the housekeeper's ears as they were passing by my office, LOL. They looked in and said, "You must be reading emails!" I figured it would take too long to explain and just said, "Yup. Come back at 1:00 and I'll have some funnies for you."

Sherri Watt said...

Too funny!! I loved the one about the dog. I am your new follower...

Tracy said...

These are great! I especially love the Heel! Thanks for the giggles.

Erica said...

You had me in stitches! Thanks for th laugh!

Darlene said...

I love these...they are funny!
Thanks for making me smile!!

Tracy said...

Hey buddy...

Tag! You're it! Can't wait to see your responses. ; )

Christina said...

The Jonah one was hysterical. Serves the teacher right.

Melanie said...

LOL.. these were great! :)

Joyfulsister said...

( Hee hee heh)
I luved it~~~ What a dog huh!! I was waiting to him to bark in tongues lol.
Thanks for the laughs I really needed it today sistah..

Hugz Lorie